I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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