But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize