So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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