**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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