TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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