Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Church boner. Awkwardddd
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
