i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
