I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
