38 yer olds are good kisserssss
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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