I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
