just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
