What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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