Whod you bang
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
