went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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