woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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