He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
