I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
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Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
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you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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