I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
