If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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