Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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