Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Randomize
