just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
