we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
The ass gains better be worth it
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
