and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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