your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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