Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize