he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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