I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
