It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
