Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
