my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
