I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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