ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
