We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
