this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
