no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
