I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
