He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
