mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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