found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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