So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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