we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
All I want is dick and wine.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
