i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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