Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
