honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
