Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Randomize
