she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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