I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
People with herpes should wear stickers.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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