Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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