Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
