god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
