he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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