and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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