hell yes lets make some ravioli
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
