When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I think I sprained my soul last night
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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