Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
