i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
