I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
