i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
