So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
