he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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