i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
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We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
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I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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