and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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